I saw you today, existing to find what you’re looking for.
I can still feel you wipe the pain from my mind with the space of your hand that I tried to fit in mine,
but we lost the circulation we began.
The madness of a friend keeps me in mind, and I continue to know the disconnect,
I continue to know
And I act like a fool to know you better than I wanted,
better than we began.
I’m happy for what you know and I’m happy to know you as I do.
I’m happy to know you.
But I cannot face the feeling that I know you continue to lose me.
I’m an island to you.
I’m an island you stop at on the way home,
I’m an island you know: an island you understand
You leave me the comfort of the word, friend, and I show you the futility of my pretending.
I never mean more to you than you think, and I will never mean much to you more than you uphold.
You keep me.
You keep me maintained for the time it takes to try to know you,
I am an island you make the means of when it’s done and I know,
that’s not how I feel
You keep me as a friend,
you keep me as I am,
you keep the me who comprehends you in our oddity.
But I need to stop myself from telling you
I need you.
I need you more than I can know.
Please, talk to me; I miss you and I’m going insane without your
I didn’t know you were a part of me, stuck in the happiness
But I was too eager to know you,
I was too fast to want us to mean more than we can because
I wanted to keep you more than I could.
For in my eagerness, I wasn’t fast enough to know you.
Instead, the distance is kept tied to the word we keep in our minds, kept only to know you,
kept tied to the timing we made that is kept out of our hands.
And in our attempts to remain the same,
we close the distance we pretended to make.
January 16, 2019